Monday, July 18, 2011

Crazy Beautiful

Title: Crazy Beautiful
Author: Lauren Baratz-Logsted
Published: 2009
Synopsis from Goodreads

In an explosion of his own making, Lucius blew his arms off. Now he has hooks. He chose hooks because they were cheaper. He chose hooks because he wouldn’t outgrow them so quickly. He chose hooks so that everyone would know he was different, so he would scare even himself.

Then he meets Aurora. The hooks don’t scare her. They don’t keep her away. In fact, they don’t make any difference at all to her.

But to Lucius, they mean everything. They remind him of the beast he is inside. Perhaps Aurora is his Beauty, destined to set his soul free from its suffering.

Or maybe she’s just a girl who needs love just like he does.

This was NOT as cool as I thought it would be. After 25 or so pages and some awful eyerolls where I thought I'd never be able to see again... I have decided to put this book down and rate it a flop.

I love the idea of this book. An amputee boy meets a beautiful girl. What's not to love? And it's close to my heart because there is an amputee in my family... my son. We need more amputee stories out there!!!!

I also ADORE the cover. I mean LOOK AT IT!! Swoon me baby!!

But kids, we can't judge a book by its cover and I just found out you can't really fall in love with a book just by the description.

Aurora is a WOAH AS ME GIRLY GIRL who

*Gets called Princess

*Has a doggy clock

*And is considering what kind of clock is cool. She knows that her friends have had Hannah Montana clocks but now that she's 15 or something she'd decided that they'd probably all dig Lindsey Lohan better.


When was this written?

Oh... 2009

Ok author lady... Do you see what you just did? First you made us cringe with the Li-Lo reference but you also just dated this book with mention of Billy Ray's kid.


Uhh... is nobody named Bob or Bill or Ted anymore?

Anyways, Lucius is a 15 or 16 year old (I was too bored to remember) who got his hands blown off some way (too bored to find out why but apparently he must have blown up his parents' house too and they are super ticked about that. Maybe he was trying to blow up Lindsey Lohan clocks) .

The problem I had with this book was mainly with Lucius. Sure, I probably didn't give this book a cage-fighting Captain Hook of a chance but I honestly don't think that the author lady actually talked to any teenage amputees. Muhahahas... cuz I did.

Here's a line that bugged me:

I don't like his shell necklace either, and I really don't like it when I hear him say to the girl with the red hair gathered in a ponytail, "Hey, did you get a load of the new crip sitting behind the bus driver?"

What? Ok... first off... Lucius is a new kid and they are picking on him out loud because he's a cripple? Now, we know its the 21 century. Author Lady already told us that because she mentioned Hanna Montana.... and you know what kids... My son has been to 3 different school systems, they all know he's an amputee, and he has never been discriminated like that. So, I kinda don't buy that. Most people just whisper or stare... that I've seen. I even asked my son about that and he agreed with me.

The next thing I asked my son about was the word CRIP. He thought that word was hilarious. He was all like "That's a good one!"
Me: "What? No, wait... Would any of your friends call you that?"
Son: "Yeah! They sure would! hahahahs!"
Me: "Omg! Your friends are so mean!"

And this is when I learned that at the lunch table of teenage boys they basically just go Beavis and Butt-head on each other because its funny.

Hmms... I mean "Huh huh Huh Huh huh"

Me: So, no one has ever SAID anything about you being disabled just to attack you?
Son: Noooooo

I asked my husband about that and he too thought exactly what I thought. Maybe in our generation, maybe in our parents', but not so much in this one.

I know I know... its to make the boy seem like an outcast but ugs... it just didn't feel right.

Another thing that bugged me was this line (thought by the boy about the girl)

Entering the bus now is perfection. And it's not just the clothes and accessories, which make her look as though she just walked out of the pages of the coolest back-to-school catalog in the world. It's not that in a world that mostly always looks like black and white to me she's like this shocking blaze of color. It's not any of that. It's that with the cloud of long black curls, she's like some sort of dark angel. And it's that when my eyes meet hers, eyes that are the color of serene ocean, she gives me a quick smile, a nervous smile. Immediately, I recognize that she's new too, that she's nervous too.

Uhhh... So, I read that to my 14 year old amputee son and he nearly fell out of his chair laughing. I kinda didn't think that a boy would notice all that garb about hair and eyes... like DESCRIPTIVE COLORING... or say something like DARK ANGEL (maybe in the 90s!!). But that's just it. All these authors now-a-days want to write from a boy's POV and they don't get them right. A teenage boy is not worried about how a girl's eyes are colored. They might be interested if they are staring at a part of their body... but not the coloring! I don't care how sensitive this broody in the making is. I'm totally not buying it. You know what boys in that age group think of

LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA *plugs ears because my boy is that age* LA LA LA LA LA LA LA

I just love the use of blues and pinks in this picture.. yeah... that's exactly what is going through my son's mind ;)

So, girly girls! I didn't dig this book! No sir re bobby! Read it if you like but it wasn't for me.

**and don't forget to check out all the fabu contests we have going on. Enter for your chance at a Forever prize pack (ending July 28th) and an horrifyingly awesome prize from Tim O'Rourke's Vampire Shift (ending July 21st). Good Luck!


  1. HAHAHAHA the book may be a FLOP but I give this review a standing ovation!!! *stands & claps*

    realizes she looks stupid giving a standing ovation to a living room full of toys

    LMAO That was awesome!!

  2. I've been waiting for WEEKS for this to post lolz! I'm glad you liked it

  3. Maybe a that the new age term?..would have loooved the coloring. but I agree ..pretty slim chance that a normal teenage boy is thinking that...LOL..Great review!