Monday, June 25, 2012

The Vicious Deep

The Vicious DeepTitle: The Vicious Deep
Author: Zoraida Córdova
Published: May 2012
Synopsis from Goodreads

For Tristan Hart, everything changes with one crashing wave.

He was gone for three days. Sucked out to sea in a tidal wave and spit back ashore at Coney Island with no memory of what happened. Now his dreams are haunted by a terrifying silver mermaid with razor-sharp teeth.

His best friend Layla is convinced something is wrong. But how can he explain he can sense emotion like never before? How can he explain he’s heir to a kingdom he never knew existed? That he’s suddenly a pawn in a battle as ancient as the gods.

Something happened to him in those three days. He was claimed by the sea…and now it wants him back.

Tristan is a lifeguard for Coney Island.

Sounds awesome, right?

Well, it sounds awesome to me! I've always wanted to go to Coney Island and Tristan works there... in an orange SPEEDO!!!

I'm not quite sure how old Tristan is. I'm guessing 16 but I can't be for sure... I'm pretty sure it would be against the law to RAWR at this. I do find it fascinating that he's in an orange Speedo and not red Bay Watch trunks. I mean... how does he run in slow motion? Does a speedo give enough support?

Tristan loves being a lifeguard. He loves the babes who look at him, he loves his tan, and he loves to swim.

One day something odd happens at the beach and while people are screaming it's time for Tristan to do his slow Bay Watch run in his orange speedo. He runs off to save a little girl in the water but then looses 3 days of his life and his family looses 3 days of him.

Where did he go?

Washing up on the shore after that he gets admitted to the hospital (because that's the responsible thing to do) and after fully gaining consciousness his Mom is like "We're outta here!" (which is the irresponsible thing to do).

Once home Tristan feels kinda puny after having this huge welcome home party from his swim team and lifeguard co-workers (sadly the Hoff was not invited) that he runs to the master bathroom to honk out some spewage.

This probably freaks him mom out because it would freak me out. I'd be screaming "NO NO NO!! Use your bathroom!! Damn it!! I just cleaned in there!"

We never learn if she says this or not but I'm confident she probably does. Instead what we find out is that Tristan is half mer-maid.... excuse me... half mer-man.

Now, I was kinda thinking that Tristan was gonna be some sort of Aquaman, but he does indeedy-do have a tail. And you might be asking yourself one question because Tristan asked this like a million times....

Where does his junk go?

But fear not Reader... you do get to learn where his package is hiding at.

Oh brother!!

"The Vicious Deep" is a story of a young man learning he is chosen for greatness but has to prove himself if he wishes to be accepted into a world he thought was only in fairytales.

It's just like Uncle Ben said: With great power, comes great responsibility.

If there was a theme for the book it would totally be that... oh and that boys think about their wang like... A LOT!

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