And now on to the story...
It's just another long night, another smoky club, another wasted crowd. How pathetic to spend your life playing for assholes that won't even remember they were here in the morning. Once the high wears off that’s all they be thinking about...the next high that is. Not that I have any room to judge. It's a miracle that I haven't faded yet.
It's only a matter of time though, Jase thinks to himself. It's already starting. I can feel the vibrations of the bass guitar humming through my fingers. The howling, damaging my ears, but my vision is starting to blur. That’s how it starts, slightly black around the edges. Soon I won't be able to feel the strings against my fingers.
The blackness takes over. Oozing over my eyes like ink. That’s when I see her. Hair the same inky color that threatens my vision, piercing green eyes, pale skin. A single spark, sauntering towards the stage. I try to hang on a little longer but it's no use. When the high grabs you, that’s it, everything goes away.
I can’t take my eyes off her as she casually perches herself on the edge of the stage. A voice long since forgotten damaged and lost an angel finds you in the dark. I promptly ignore it, push it down, there’s no hope left here to find. Is that some sort of wings on her shoulder? Squinting, I try to get a better look, but eyes rebel. They give in to the inky nothingness. Everything fades to black….
There was a time, not so long ago, that things were different. That I was different. A time when a very different girl was perched, almost in the same spot, on the edge of my stage. If only she knew she was my stage. Blond hair so light you could swear it glowed. It matched her ability to light up the darkest of rooms perfectly. I remember thinking how I had never really breathed until the first day I met her.
From the outside it appeared that she was blissfully happy. A raging star amongst the chaos we call life. Life was easier when she was around. She had that effect on people. If only I knew, if anyone knew, how bleak things looked through her eyes. She was too perfect for that though. The master of appeal, that was her talent, and like anyone would, I bought it. I drank it down and begged for more. Like a drug, she took a hold of me, blinding me.
The happiest day of my life was the day we brought Lily home from the hospital. She was her mother’s perfect daughter. The way Sarah would laugh, and coo at Lily. Lily was her world. Who knew the world was slowly caving in, sucking it all away? An expiration date had been set. When the floor dropped out from under our feet Sarah broke. Her master façade melted away. I watched it mix and mingle with the mud and the rain that November morning. All that was left of our perfect Lily lay still and lifeless, in a cold black box.
There weren’t any answers, although people tried to give them anyway. I watched as the life left Sarah’s eyes. Once blue, now nothing more than a dull steal gray. Like a fool I thought I could save her. Thought I could jump in the dark waters and fish her out, bring her back to me. I should have got her help. I should have known that I alone wasn’t even close to enough. Three weeks, that’s all it took, and Sarah too faded to black..
Dancing my way through the mud and the muck of half-baked bodies, I saw him. Standing on the stage, slouched over his guitar, looking as though it was the only thing holding him up. His dirty blond hair crashing down over his face creating a curtain of mystery. Damn why did I always want the broken ones. Trying to ignore rational thought I make my way to the stage. I can feel my ears screaming for surrender but my body says otherwise. Like a train wreck, unable to look away, he looks up at me. Even the blankness stare is enough to send shivers up my spine, and a few other indecent areas. Stop that!
The way his long fingers grate against the strings, his tight white tee hugs his chest and arms, I would trade places with that guitar any day of the week. Arg get a hold of yourself! I thrust myself up on the stage and sit beside him. Everyone here is too far gone to notice. Even the so called “security” looks as though he is riding through a desert on a horse with no name.
I feel his gaze tighten, wrapping around me, filling me in a way that is completely unreasonable. Reaching up I drag the tips of my fingers down the length of his arm. Tracing the blacks, blues, and reds of his tattoo, I watch the glaze take over his vision. I’ve lost him…
A thought crosses my mind, I don’t know what brought him here but I will find his way out. That’s my problem I always have to save people. It’s like cruel and unusual fuel to feed the monster that lives within me. Begging me for release back into the world I love to hate. Just looking at him I can feel its teeth nawing at me, threatening to strike. Whispering promises of how easy it would be to join him instead of save him. I won’t surrender to that voice. For the looks of him this monster is already feeding, it doesn’t need me, but I need him.
He begins to teeter and sway, like a lamp post to a hooker, I hold there until the music lets go. A hoard of hallucinating zombies makes their way to the exits. Taking their monsters with them. Who would have thought, amongst the faded, you would find me sober? Certainly not me. He folds into me, buckling under his weight; I catch myself on the drums. Slowly we make it out of the club, heading to the car; I feel his fingers tangle in my shirt.
Slightly breathless from carrying his lifeless weight, and because those fingers began dancing their way around my rib cage, I brace him against my car door. Fishing for my keys, his hand starts creeping up under my shirt. His touch is cold and clammy, but I don’t care. None of that matters now. Not the fact that I don’t know his name, that he won’t remember me, that he won’t remember this. All that matters now is that I want him!
Throwing myself against him, I press my lips to his. I know he probably isn’t even aware of what is going on right now, but I swear I feel him tremble with desire. With a hunger stronger than the drug he’s on. He slides his hand up under my bra, cupping my breast. His fingers find my nipple, causing me to bite down on his bottom lip. The taste of metal floods my senses; I bit so hard I drew blood. I start to pull away, embarrassed at my roughness. He grabs my hand and rubs it across his pants, showing me that I have nothing to be embarrassed about.
His quivering display of reassurance is more than I can handle. Grasping the door handle, I wrench it open, throwing myself down across the backseat, pulling him on top of me as I fall. His hands slip under my skirt. Mine find their way to his jeans. With one swift movement, I give in to the monster that dwells, rising up to meet him as he plunges inside of me. A moan escapes my lips, noticing the haze beginning to clear from his eyes, I take him in. In the darkness I found him…
Welp that's it!