Today we sit down with Carrie Harris, author of Bad Taste In Boys, to learn a few tricks to survive a Zombie Apocalypse!
Too bad it's too late for Darkfallen here...
Lolz
In the Event of a Zombie Apocalypse, I’m Tripping You – A Few Tips on Friendships in the Zombie Wasteland
Apparently, I’m on a lot of zombie apocalypse survival lists. People think that because I’m a zombie author, I’d be a good resource. And sure, I know a lot of zombie lore. I can debate the relative merits of melee versus projectile weaponry and make up a survival plan depending on a few key bits of knowledge about said zombies and how they work. But I’ve got a confession to make:
Other than the planning bits, I’m pretty freaking useless.
If you need someone to stand behind you and yell, “AIM FOR THE HEAD, YOU IDIOT! THE HEAD!!!” I’m your girl, but I’m one of those people who loves to play zombie shooting games but doesn't really use any actual TECHNIQUE. I just kind of empty my gun in the general direction of the undead and cackle maniacally. Let me put it to you another way—my zombocalypse survival plan consists of one and one thing only. I married a ninja.
Not kidding.
Really, when you think about it, your choice of company can determine whether or not you’ll turn out as a zombie chew toy. And because your survival means a lot to me, I’d like to give you some advice. Friends are great and all, but when it comes to survival in the zombie wasteland, you need more than happy fuzzy feelings to make it to the next sundown. Think carefully about the people you hang with. There are some people you DON’T want to hang with in the event of the zombocalypse. Unless you secretly aspire to be a lurching corpse, in which case I think you might need medication. So without further ado, I’d like to suggest some random things to consider when choosing your zombie survival peeps.
Do you hang with that guy you know who learned ninjutsu from a detailed study of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? We all know this guy, don’t we? Some of us are even related to him. He owns ALL the ninja gear, although he calls his weapons something like “the stabby thing of death” or “the death thing of stabby” or “the thingy of stabby death,” but hopefully not that last one because am I alone in thinking it sounds vaguely pervy in a disturbing sort of way? Anyway, this guy talks a big talk, but in the event of zombie attack, he will probably trip over his own foot trying to do a spin kick and stab himself with the stabby thing of death. Not the kind of guy you want watching your back.
The zombie apocalypse might be your last chance to meet that celebrity that you’ve worshipped from afar for years. But consider the object of your affection carefully. Under no circumstances should your zombie survival plan involve going to Richard Simmons’s house. He’s probably faster than you, and everyone knows that zombies are attracted to men in short shorts. Which also means that you shouldn’t hang with the biker from the Village People. Lady Gaga, on the other hand? She is the perfect zombie survival companion. She wears dresses made of beef, glasses that are impossible to see through, and platforms. If I wasn’t already married to a ninja, I’d start cloning Gagas, because the zombie survival doesn’t get much better than that.
Oh, and you can bet that Woody Harrelson’s house will be PACKED, because everyone who has seen Zombieland will go there. Personally, I’m heading for Sarah Michelle Gellar’s, because I figure the chosen one can behead just as well as she can stake.
Swimsuit models make terrific zombie survival partners. Because it’s impossible to hide a zombie bite in a bikini, whereas Eskimos will always take you by surprise and leap out of their parkas and try to gnaw your head off. Plus, there’s always a chance that the zombies may retain a little bit of conscious thought and turn to watch the models scamper around in their teeny bikinis while you make a quick getaway.
Wait! Wait! I’ve got the PERFECT survival strategy. Dress the guy with the stabby thing of death in a swimsuit made of meat! Send him out the front door and make arrangements to meet him at the car so you can go to Buffy’s house. You’ll need to wash your eyeballs with Windex to erase all traces of that image from your corneas, but you’ll be ALIVE.
Or you could just do what I did and marry a ninja. But I think that second idea is funnier.
~Carrie Harris
BAD TASTE IN BOYS -- Available now!
Someone's been a very bad zombie...
BAD HAIR DAY -- Coming in fall of 2012!
The badness continues...
http://randomhouse.com/teens
And because Carrie wanted to make sure you were all prepared in the event your boyfriend becomes all zombified and such, she has brought a copy of her book Bad Taste In Boys for one lucky winner. And guess what?! She has even SIGNED it!!
All you have to do to enter is fill out the Rafflecopter form below, and make sure to include your mailing address in case you win!
(this contest is open to US residents & followers of Paranormal Wastelands.)
And because Carrie wanted to make sure you were all prepared in the event your boyfriend becomes all zombified and such, she has brought a copy of her book Bad Taste In Boys for one lucky winner. And guess what?! She has even SIGNED it!!
All you have to do to enter is fill out the Rafflecopter form below, and make sure to include your mailing address in case you win!
(this contest is open to US residents & followers of Paranormal Wastelands.)
