Sunday, October 28, 2012

Trick Or Treat Giveaway Hop: Zompacolypse 2012

WELCOME!!!
Paranormal Wastelands

 
 
 
I don't know about you, but we here at the wastelands LOVE Halloween!
So muich so that we wait all year long for Zompacolypse to come around so we can whip out our zombies. We are sad to say that it's almost time to lock thosae zombies back in the basement, but before we do what better way to go out with a bang than a rocking Trick Or Treat Hop?!
 
NONE, none I tell ya. There is nothing better than a chain of awesome giveaways. But before we get to that we just wanted to say a special thanks to all the authors and bloggers that have helped make Zompacolypse 2012 possible.

And from our zombie butler here at the wastelands mansion...
 
 
Isn't he such an awesome artist?!
 
Now for the giveaway!!! Here on our stop we will be hosting two giveaways. Please feel free to enter BOTH. The first Rafflcopter form is for a HUGE box of YA books:
a Rafflecopter giveaway
 
 
And the second giveaway is for a box of Middle Grade books:
a Rafflecopter giveaway
 
Both giveaways are open internationally. Simply fill out both Rafflecopter forms to be entered!
 
Now keep on trick or treating to the rest of the stops:
 
 
 

Friday, October 26, 2012

Zombie Whisperer/How to Train a Zombie


Paranormal Wastelands is proud to welcome Annie Walls author of The Famished Trilogy.


*Darkfallen and Greta open the mansion door to stop the pounding coming from the other side.*


DF: What do you want?

Greta: We don’t want any.


Annie: I was taking a stroll around the neighborhood when I noticed a retched smell coming from your mansion. *Annie wrinkles nose as a bang and groan sounds from the zombie hidden in the mansion basement.* What’s that noise?


DF: Never mind that. What’s that? In your hand? *DF points to Annie’s hand.*


Annie: Well, I have a zombie. You see? *Annie pulls the chain in her hand, and a compliant zombie stumbles into the mansion foyer.*


*Greta and DF gasp*


Greta whispers to DF: You called the zombie whisperer!

*DF elbows Greta to be quiet.*


DF: How do you get him to do that? *DF gestures to the zombie, who is standing still, watching them eerily.*


*Annie appraises Greta and DF with raised eyebrows, and smiles.*


Annie: Well, I feed him!


Greta: You feed him? What?


Annie: Zombie food. What else would I feed him? *More banging comes from the basement as DF and Greta become more anxious.*


DF: Where can we get some of this zombie food? Hypothetically speaking.


Annie: *Annie shrugs* Where ever you can find some brains.


Greta: Well, how do you keep him so clean? *Everyone looks at the zombie, noting the laundered state.*


Annie: Spray him down with the hose, soap him up, and spray him down again to rinse him off, like a shower. Need to feed him first though. A full zombie is a happy zombie. *Moans and groans become louder and more persistent. DF and Greta shoot each other worried glances*


Annie: Does that noise have anything to do with the smell?


Greta: It’s a zombie!


DF: Yes, and we need to train him. I think you can help us. You know, being a zombie whisperer and all.


Annie: Zombie whisperer?


*Annie shakes with uncontrolled laughter*


Greta: What’s so funny?


*DF scowls at Annie*


Annie: Oh, well, I’m not a zombie whisperer.


DF: You’re not?

Greta: But that zombie is trained! You know what to feed him.

DF: And bathe him...

Greta: And walk him.

DF: He’s not trying to eat us!


*Annie pulls chain again.*


Annie: All that stuff seems obvious, don’t you think?


DF: You should help us train our zombie. *More banging from basement.*


Annie: I would, if I ever trained a zombie, but I haven’t.


Greta: What about your zombie? *Greta points to zombie*


Annie: He’s not my zombie. I just found him on my walk. Pretty cool, huh?


*DF and Greta blink*

DF: Then what are you doing here?!?!


Annie: If you would have let me explain in the first place... from the smell of your mansion, I thought he lived here. You guys seem a little desperate... couldn’t resist teasing you.


DF: What a waste of my time!

Greta: So, where is the real zombie whisperer?


Annie: Just a guess, but maybe this zombie had the whisperer for breakfast. Maybe zombie’s don’t want to be trained.


*Everyone looks at the zombie, who now has a smile on his face.*



Annie Walls is giving a chance to one lucky U.S. Wastelander to win a copy of her e-book - Taking on the Dead - plus some fabulous Zompacolypse goodies! What are those goodies? Only the winner will find out!!



a Rafflecopter giveaway

Thursday, October 25, 2012

For Whom the Bell Tolls: The Bateson Revival Device and Other Freaky Stories of Premature Burial, Funeral Customs, and the Walking Dead (copter needed)

Paranormal Wastelands is proud to welcome Varla Ventura author of The Book of the Bizarre: Freaky Facts & Strange Stories

Nothing makes the heart pound like the thought of being chased, be it through thorny wood or up winding staircases, through tangle of night or breaking dawn, with the dead hot on your heels. (Or should I say cold at your feet?) I certainly have had one-too-many dreams about being chased by zombies, no doubt a result of watching one-too-many horror movies.

What makes you hide under the covers or sleep with the light on? Perhaps it’s the common fear of being buried alive. The taste of dirt in you mouth, fingernails torn to shreds as you desperately try to claw your way out. Out of the coffin, out of the grave, out into the free air.

Lurid stories from the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries were spread in the popular press about premature burial. Some of these tales were spread by well-meaning doctors; for example, postmortem reports described corpses with their fingers chewed offa sign, some doctors said, that the corpse awoke and was panicked and hungry enough to chew its own extremities. In reality, most or all of the cases were actually the result of rodent infestation. However, there was good reason for people to be terrified of being buried alive. Not all medical professionals were particularly skilled at telling the difference between dead and unconscious, and burials happened so fast (due to the heat in some places and the absence of preserving chemicals) that it was not unheard of for a person to wake up underground.

John Bateson was an inventor with paranoia about this very situation, and so he came up with the Bateson Revival Devicea small church bell attached to the lid of the coffin and connected to a cord strapped to the deceased’s hand. The idea was if you woke up in a coffin, you could ring the bell until somebody rescued you. Because his fears were shared by hundreds of people, Bateson was made wealthy with the device.

Egbert Viele was buried in a replica of an Egyptian pyramid at West Point Cemetery in New York. He was so afraid of being buried alive that he added a finishing touch to the memorial--a buzzer connected to the caretaker’s house was installed close to Viele’s body. It never rang.

One of my favorite stories I’ve read over the years came from the book Scottish Bodysnatchers: True Accounts. Author Norman Adams paints several gruesome tales of premature burial and inadvertent rescue. Among them is the account of Maggie Dickson, who was hung in 1724 in Inveresk, presumably for a self-induced abortion that she had attempted to conceal. Maggie was hung in the town square, and it is said that the hangman pulled and swung on her legs once the noose was tightened and the ladder was kicked out, just for good measure. She was cut down, apparently dead, and her body was put in a cart by her relatives to be taken home for burial. Along the way, the family and friends of the deceased Maggie stopped for a drink. While the mourners were inside the alehouse, Maggie regained consciousness. Her weak cries attracted help, and a local surgeon revived her. Later, she was granted her freedom and went on to live many years, being widely known as “Half-Hangit” Maggie.
A similar tale is one from Aberdeenshire, where Merjorie Elphinstone was buried alive and rousted from her premature eternal slumber by a grave robber who was trying to steal the rings from her fingers. And there is the story of the minister’s wife, Margaret Halcrow. She was saved from an untimely fate when a sexton attempted to rob her grave and found her alive. Her husband was quite shocked to find her knocking on the door one evening.

And if being buried alive isn’t your greatest fear, perhaps it is the idea that something will reach out from its own earthly deathbed and come after you?

The origin of the tombstone lies in the fear of the dead, it seems. Lest the restless spirit, zombie, or other ghastly incarnation of the formerly living try to escape from its well-nailed coffin and six feet of earthly barrier, a large heavy stone was added to the grave to ensure it was sealed. Later, the tombstone was used more formally as a place on which to engrave epitaphs and depict angels, doves, and similar symbols of heavenly ascension.

So when you are out there, cemetery gazing or watching zombie flicks, don’t forget to listen for the sound of a bell. Consider it a warning.




Varla Ventura is giving one lucky Us/Canadian Wastelander the chance to win a signed copy of her book TheBook of the Bizarre plus Halloween and zombie swag!