Breathers: A Zombie's Lament

Title: Breathers: A Zombie's Lament
Author: S.G. Browne
Published: 2009
Synopsis from Goodreads:


For fans of Max Brooks’s The Zombie Survival Guide and zombie aficionados everywhere, a hilarious debut novel about life (and love) after death.

Meet Andy Warner, a recently deceased everyman and newly minted zombie. Resented by his parents, abandoned by his friends, and reviled by a society that no longer considers him human, Andy is having a bit of trouble adjusting to his new existence. But all that changes when he goes to an Undead Anonymous meeting and finds kindred souls in Rita, an impossibly sexy recent suicide with a taste for the formaldehyde in cosmetic products, and Jerry, a twenty-one-year-old car-crash victim with an exposed brain and a penchant for Renaissance pornography. When the group meets a rogue zombie who teaches them the joys of human flesh, things start to get messy, and Andy embarks on a journey of self-discovery that will take him from his casket to the SPCA to a media-driven class-action lawsuit on behalf of the rights of zombies everywhere.

Darkly funny, surprisingly touching, and gory enough to satisfy even the most discerning reader, Breathers is a romantic zombie comedy (rom-zom-com, for short) that will leave you laughing, squirming, and clamoring for more.



What happens when you die? Well, I assume that you see a light and go one way or the other. Right? The world goes black and you sleep forever? You get buried? Maybe burned? People mourn for you?

Well, what happens if you are placed in your lovely casket with a fabulous satin bedding and all of the sudden you wake up?

Well, in my opinion... there are tons of screams, some might pass out, and you're sitting there wondering why on earth you are in your Sunday Best.

This is what Breathers is about. The Zombie world that has been kept hidden from us for forever and a day. OH! Hidden you ask? Yes in deedy!! You see... Zombies don't have ANY civil rights and are just the chewed up gum on the bottom of the fat cat's shoe of society.

In this book, ANDY is reanimated after a car wreck. He loses his wife and because zombies aren't allowed to see their kids he also loses his daughter to his wife's brother's family. Andy goes to live with his parents. His Dad's not too cool... well, not cool at ALL to have Andy living there stinking up the house with his zombie funk and his Mom is trying to act like nothing is different but she won't touch him at all.

Well, how does a newly born zombie deal with all the new horrors of society. I mean: he can't drive, he can't get a job, he has to drink shampoo with flamowdohyde (oh hells! I don't know how to spell that hahas!) in it just to stay fresh, and if you're poor Andy -- well, you've kinda been smushed, have a limp, and your vocal cords aren't working right. Well, what do you do? Why, you go to a zombie support group that meets twice a week!! That's what you do!!

LOLZ! This book is great!! It's like Shaun of the Dead meets Beetlejuice meets One Flew over the CooCoo's Nest (the movie... never read the book, so I'm guessing they are similar lolz). I laughed, I gasped, I awed (that's right people! Check out the cover!! There is some zombie swoon in it!! I've never read zombie swoon before but it was most excellent), and the ending will leave you wanting more. Actually the ending reminded me of the ending with Jon Connor in Terminator 3. You know the one. Not the new one with the breathy husky voicey Batman in it. No! The one with the younger kid. Yeah, read this book and let me know if you thought that too.

I totally recommend this book to any zombie lover. It doesn't reflect zombies as the big baddies that are just wanting to tear into human flesh. It also shows the softer more cuddlier side of a zombie. OK OK... It does start out with Andy's parents stuffed in his freezer... but I swear... these zombies are cuddlier hahahs!!

Awesome read!

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